The night of the seventh of October/October 2023 I was angry with everything, including my family and my surroundings, so I locked myself in the room, taking a relatively large cup of bitter coffee, and a novel I borrowed from the public library, which was “1984” by the British writer “George Orwell,” whose real name is “Eric Blair.” “; Although I did not find in the novel that great aura that some critics placed around it, it is certainly a distinctive novel.
Before writing the novel that night, I grabbed my mobile phone and disconnected the Internet service, but that was not enough. I activated the airplane system so that I would not receive any calls from anyone.
I skimmed through the pages of the novel, drank a cup of coffee quickly, without taking a sip as in dramas and some novels. I read more than 70 pages in a relatively short time. I fell asleep and woke up for the dawn prayer without an alarm clock, and without waking up my wife or anything else.
Should I open my mobile phone to check the news? No, I have to recite some supplications and supplications after praying. Sleep overcame me again.
Even enjoying reading has become part of my personal history, as has the passion for reading different books. The poor slave was not skilled in sports, especially football, and was not interested in following sporting or artistic events
I opened the mobile phone and reactivated the Internet service, and I started browsing some groups on the Telegram and WhatsApp applications. Urgent updates were coming in, along with an announcement of a recorded speech by Commander Muhammad Al-Deif, and I then realized that the event was great and the attack was great.
I quickly went to the television, watching Al-Jazeera, Al-Aqsa, and other channels quickly, and waking up the still sleeping members of the family, whom I had grown angry and blaming.
What is the reason for this talk now, when the anniversary of October 7 has not yet arrived, even if it is approaching? Do you want to tell us your life story and the details of your day? What is the benefit of this narrative? I don’t know the truth, but I wanted to remember what happened in another way these days, or when writing this post.
Returning to the novel “1984”, reading it in its entirety (after 70 pages in a short sitting) took a long time. I don’t remember it, but it was unusually long, and this is perhaps normal in the midst of a psychological state while following news of the massacres in Gaza.
Even enjoying reading has become part of my personal history, as has the passion for reading different books. The poor slave did not have the skill of playing sports, especially football, and he did not care about following sports or artistic events. He did not remember card games (hardship or cards in Egyptian) except “Basra” which he played a long time ago, and he abandoned the game of chess even though he loved it a little.
His passion and favorite hobby was reading publications from newspapers, magazines, and various books, and he found indescribable psychological comfort when looking at books on the shelves and browsing through whatever he liked (I recently learned that this condition is called plumania). But this passion and enjoyment, in light of the circumstances the country is experiencing, has gone without alternative until now. As a reminder, Jenin and its camp, two years before the Gaza War, have been witnessing escalation, confrontations, and martyrs, whose funeral homes are almost never closed.
Did you really move away from politics with this novel? You know that its political cover is too clear for you to lose sight of it… True, but I wanted to stay away from direct political and field talk a little.
It was – and still is – engaging in following the news and participating in commenting on it on some media outlets is a preoccupation, and one’s soul can no longer bear the scenes of massacres in Gaza that those near and far conspired against, or the scenes of the continuing suffering of our people there. But this is consumption or draining of the soul, and the soul needs a “charging” of its depleted energy in order to continue and continue, otherwise it will get lost or lose its wavering balance.
The soul that no longer finds pleasure or solace, and feels remorseful conscience just because it is still alive, or is living a daily life that, despite all its difficulties, is better than the life of the displaced people in (the semi-tents) in the Gaza Strip.
With the dramatic escalation on the Lebanon front, with the continuing massacre in the Gaza Strip, and with the increasing suffering of the displaced in tents after the first rain, I felt that the scale and fluidity of the events were great, and that one should take a break from something far from the news… Am I right in this? Is it an escape from reality? I don’t see it as a “battery recharge”, especially for those who write about politics and talk about the course of events for the media.
I went to Tayeb Salih (may God have mercy on him) and picked up his novel “Season of Migration to the North.” I read it for the first time when I was a young university student. It is an opportunity to experience the feelings when reading this type of novel between two times, even though its events – and even many of its lines – remained preserved in a memory that had the power of an envied and envied person.
Wait, did you really stay away from politics with this novel? You know that its political cover is too clear for you to lose sight of… True, but I wanted to move away from direct political and field talk a little.
Should I have chosen another novel so as not to fall into what I wanted to distance myself from, i.e. politics and bloody news? Maybe, but can I even do that?
Oh, Tayeb Salih, what would you write if you saw your homeland being torn apart, and if you saw the Sudanese village – one of the most important themes of your novel and other works of yours – no longer living its monotonous life and its usual small struggles, and you would not hear in it the sound of irrigation machines and the voices of livestock and birds, but rather You will hear the sounds of bullets and bombs, and you will see the funeral processions of tens or even hundreds of bodies of Sudanese people who were unjustly and treacherously killed, and you will hear cries for help from their women as they are being attacked by human monsters… Perhaps if you lived, you would die for a long time without writing anything!
The world of Sudan, which Tayeb Salih painted with attractive brilliance, has passed, to be replaced by another world, and even the Nile River is no longer something normal after the Renaissance Dam.. Is the country’s good fortune for its people the greed of enemies and the conspiracy of those who are supposed to be brothers? What does the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, Filippo Grandi, say? He says that 26 million Sudanese suffer from severe food insecurity.
This is the condition of Sudan today, decades after the time of the drowning of Mustafa Saeed and his widow, Hassana. Sudan today is living in the time of Rapid Support… massacres, famine, and an insecure life.
Should I have chosen another novel so as not to fall into what I wanted to distance myself from, i.e. politics and bloody news? Maybe, but can I even do that?
Was what I did merely a deception that failed to remove oneself – even if just a little – from the daily atmosphere and reality? It seems so, and I have to return to the news bulletins and urgent updates!
The opinions expressed in the article do not necessarily reflect the editorial position of Al Jazeera Network.